if you didn't know, i'm a romantic. for all my open, pansexual, free love, label-less, non-judgemental, closet submissive personality traits, i love LOVE.
it's kind of sad.
and not sad because love is a sad state of affairs, but because getting from this: a 39 year old, single, unemployed mother of multiple kids to this: well-loved ecstatically happy chick tethered to the companion of my wildest imaginings seems, well... daunting. and to be extremely honest, shitty, a LOT of the time.
how can i be on a less than 45 days countdown to 40 and i have yet to figure THIS out? what is wrong with me? what is wrong with the men i have chosen and/or allowed to choose me? this funked up dance between the sexes that we do has been my exercise of choice for the past 25 years!
Precisely why I'm a year and 4 months celibate. I've got to do something different!
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