A Fling is a Fling is a Fling... Right?

my girlfriend hipped me to an adult dating website known as fling (dot) com about 4 or 5 years ago. i started out creating a profile as a curiosity, uploaded my provocative pics of t&a and almost immediately my inbox was flooded with "prospectives"... yeah, i had to weed thru the sea of weirdos, perverts, losers and infants to get to the decent, normal dudes, but being a veteran of the personals both online and pre-internet, that wasn't so hard.

one of the first messages i received was from "Corey". tall, dark, early 40s, single dad, from Charlotte, worked in the mental health field and a graduate student.

i had only been on the site a few days, with my sassy declarative statements and my catchy, pseudo-slutty screen name when he sent me a message. i responded. we exchanged numbers and a hot and heavy phone courting and correspondence began. we talked about EVERYTHING. sex. kids. school. work. we covered all the bases. i lost my job about 2 weeks after we started talking and as a pick-me-up he offered to make a weekend trip up the road to see me. he picked me up and we headed out to the edge of Maryland to chill at his sister's house (she was out of town). being as though this was a purely therapeutic visit and we had vibed so well via phone, the comfort level was amazing. we grabbed a couple pizzas and some wine and made our way to the spot.

the sex was amazing! coupled with the thunderstorm that popped up on the midst and the lovely Prince Albert piercing that was a most pleasant surprise, i had NO complaints. He even got up the next day and cut my hair for me! (i had been complaining about getting rid of my fro.) he drove me home the following afternoon and we parted ways... though we didn't see each other again, the positive interaction fueled my taste in "Fling flings" and i've been using the site as my dating pool ever since.

not that  there haven't been some flakes...

there was another dude, "Gary"... he was local, 32, 1 kid, just broke up with his baby mama. he was pestering me to let him fix me breakfast, he was working security while in culinary school... it took about 2 weeks but finally I said okay. he seemed harmless, a little stressed, but he was extra cute so...

he picks me up after I take my kids to school. it was overcast and rainy. so we are driving and chit chatting and I notice that we've bypassed the neighborhood he told me he lives in. I'm like I thought we were going to your house. he says "oh nah. my mother is home."

WHAT???

"i thought I told you my mom lives with me? I got the keys to my man's house, imma take you over there."

REALLY DUDE? that's what you wanna tell me? that you can't take me to your house because your mama LIVES WITH YOU?  and imma roll with you to ANOTHER n!&&@$ house? yeah. o...k...

my face belies none of this capitalized conversation I have going on in my head... I simply say oh I can go to my house... he is almost clicking his heels together in anticipation. we pull up and I'm like "aight. I'm out." jumped out, closed the door, went inside, never looked back. he called and texted and messaged me for a month after. I never responded. not even once. crazy fucka!

so my general experiences have been a mix of men I spent more than one occasion with sexual or otherwise. Of the few who became "one-and-dones", the package wasn't as shiny as it seemed...

still I have met a number of good men over the years. accomplished, well-rounded, secure, nice brothers. rare that slim-to-none of them were emotionally available, huh?