Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Not about that Life(style)...

(I have totally abandoned this blog. I'm sorry.
And when I ventured back to the dark side this morning, I had this story waiting in my drafts.
I had never posted it. 
Two years later, enjoy!)



I love sex. Any man or woman that has had sex with me (or near me for that matter... lol) can attest to my vigor and enthusiasm for sexual activity.
I talk about it.
I'm not ashamed of it.
If you ask me a sexually related question you may be surprised by my candor.

Yes, I've had sexual relations with women. 
Yes, I've attended a swing party. 
Yes, I have an abundance of friends in the lifestyle. 
Yes, yes, YES!

With that being said, JUST BECAUSE I MAY BE MORE SEXUALLY FREE THAN THE OTHER CHICK DON'T ASSUME I WANT TO PARTAKE IN YOUR HOMEGROWN SWING (read: SEX) PARTY.

Soooo, last night, a recent partner, J, calls me. 
"Have you ever been to a swing party."

Me: yes

J: would you like to go to one with me tonight?

Me: nope

J: it's not really a swing party. It's more like a couples thing. Me and my man Squirrel (yes.) we know this white boy who got this big ass mansion out Calvert County. So it'd be like the white dude and his wife, Squirrel and his girl, another couple or two, and my man hit me up and asked did I have anybody I could bring...

Me: and your first thought was me?

J: well yeah...

Me: *heavy sigh*

J: what's all that for???

Me: so for weeks you've been telling me how much you MISS spending time with me, have been doing nothing but working so you have no time to take me out, how you really see yourself FALLING for me... Yet the moment you have some free time, you want me to be your plus one at some bootleg sex party?  Yeah ok.

J: you're right. We have spent no time together... I just thought you might wanna get your pussy eaten by a woman...

Me: you looking out for me huh?

J: yeah!

Me: bye J. 

I spent my Friday night cuddled up with a bottle of wine and a book. Awesome threesome!


3 comments:

  1. CTFU...That's all I got for the first post I read for my first visit to your blog. What a way to get your cherry busted...LMAO

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