New Endeavors

I'm on a new warm weather adventure.

Dating.

Yes, dating. No sex with new men. And I'm using a traditional dating site to aid me in my quest as opposed to my usual raunchy "hookup" site.

I've been doing this for about two months now. Nothing earth shattering to report. Yet. 

Lunchtime Liaison...

(I wrote this back in September but never posted it. I didn't think it fit the blog because it wasn't a bad experience. But upon reconsideration, and the advent of a sequel just this past weekend, I'm posting... Stay tuned.)

Can I just say... I am way too mellow after my lunchtime rendezvous? Whoa! I haven't seen dude since last November/December and I swear I must have forgotten how phenomenal his pussy eating skills are...

First of all we have been flirtily texting, sexting and exchanging pics for about a month or so now. Stoking the embers so to speak. I really thought the shit was dead because that's right around the time his Facebook status changed. To "in a relationship with..."

When I first met him he was in the midst of a divorce. That was April/May 2011. We had the best first date EVER and went out a few times after that. He ate me out a couple times and I reciprocated. One memorable session after a dinner date, outside my house, in his truck until like 5 o'clock in the morning when he had to go straight to work on base. Had me cumming back to back for hours. So needless to say, I liked him, a little young but career military and very much a man. But his wife had been his high school love, they'd been together since he was 19 and she was 16, 12-13 years, 3 kids and a LOT of drama, so he was struggling. Then he fell off the grid.

Fast forward to late last fall, we got reacquainted and we both were eager/pressed to get it on! So post-divorce we did just that. On a semi- regular basis for weeks. And it was G.O.O.D. The holidays/new year/caused us to lose touch again. I got involved with some new extracurricular lifestyle activities which I shared with him via stories and pics but we couldn't seem to hook up again until now.

So back to today, like I said, I have been sending provocative shots to him for weeks. Last night he texted that he wants to be my "boy toy, sex toy, sex slave" I cannot say i wasn't tingling at the thought... All of a sudden he's like " I need to see you today. Where are you? " to make a long story short, the foreplay was his fingers in my pussy and my mouth on his dick while he's driving to my house. We park out front of my house in the middle of a sunny afternoon, climb into the back of the SUV and he proceeded to eat me out for an hour straight. My box was running like a faucet... I felt each wave build up and splash out of my pussy, gushing onto the floor of his truck. He kept saying "oh my god, I love it, I don't want to stop..." and I didn't want him to either.

We have another date for lunch tomorrow. Guess who's on the menu?

When I think about myself...

(^^^^ is also the title of a poem by Maya Angelou that I love.)

Every single day we should learn something new about ourselves. And sometimes that knowledge is small and other times it can be a huge revelation. I just realized something pretty fucking huge about myself in the last ten minutes.

I was reading the blog of a friend. A dude I once had a pretty close friendship/sexual relationship with. He's now married. While perusing his blog I realized I am the Queen of lamenting some shit I never had especially when it comes to men. If your life has moved forward (or backward for that matter) I can find a way to make that shit about me. He may never know, but I will ponder the facets of our relationship to the point of obsession most of the time. Who does that? What does that say about the obsessive nature of my romantic relationships? Why can't I let go of shit in my head long after the music has stopped? How is this NOT preparing me for a love my own?

I'm guessing it kind of makes me one of those wrong people to have sex with... That my dear readers is called IRONY.

This. Is. My. Life. (Black men version)

yeah, this is gonna be a bit of a ramble.  hang if you can hang.

i have a problem with sleeping. it has to do with the depression. i know. but anynoodle, i either sleep hardly at all OR fall into this coma-like state with really vivid dreams and wake up once i escape it. Friday morning was the latter.  i woke up and it was light outside.  never good. i realized i left every wearable pair of pants in the washing machine last night and…. yeah, fell asleep.  so i get up put clothes in the dryer. pull the twins uniforms together, pick up my cell to check the weather. dead. yeah i didn’t plug it in last night. this is shaping up to be a rock star morning for the kid.

plug the damn phone in and immediately get a text at 7 am from a dude i haven’t gotten a text from in at least 3 months. just “good morning”

i shoot back. “you text about once every 3 months. but you never call. i don’t get it.”

(backstory: known him at least 8 years, maybe 10. decent guy. had sex once. been known to have a semi-sextual flirtation in the past.  had begun to kick it rather regularly about a year ago then he fell off the planet.)

he texts back: i know, i’m sorry. work and school.

then 2nd text: could you send a pic?

*RECORD SCRATCH*

dude? really? you are hitting me up at 7 in the morning hoping to get a pic of my boobs or snatch to get your day started? really? grown men. is there where we are??? but i digress… i simply texted back: “there is free porn all over the net. get you some of that. thanks.”

But still, i’m having a lovely day.  pull jeans from the dryer. fluff the untwisted twisties. get the kids to school.  make it to the office (i.e., Starbucks at the corner of 7th and H streets, Chinatown) order my Refresh tea and break-fast sammie. (the toffeenut breve latte last night on a empty stomach is playing havoc w/ my insides so no coffee) settle in and get a call from a PRIVATE NUMBER.

only two people call me from private numbers… both have women who live w/ them. one is married. I say hello. it’s the married one.

me: Hey A—-n.

him: What’s up trouble?

me: Nothing. and why i gotta be trouble?

him: You don’t have to do anything, you just are.

me: *chuckle*

him: Where are you?

me: Starbucks. Chinatown.

him: Well, i’m in traffic right now but i have to do something in the city. can i call you in an hour?

me: sure.

harmless conversation, right? this one right here? (backstory: me and A—-n used to have a LOT of sex. i met him online probably 1999/2000 and we hooked up strictly to fuck. kinda kinky. very verbal. serious sex. he’s kind of an asshole. a little arrogant. extremely cocky. but we never had a relationship beyond the sex. he does some type of uber military work, he used to fly helicopters and get sent all over the world to these remote locations doing god knows what but fucking every woman he came in contact with but always managed to stay in touch with me. calling me from international locations and telling me his exploits. perpetual bachelor. ridiculous attitude but funny and charming in his own way. the last time he came back home from overseas he came to my birthday party. this was 2 years ago or so. we have since evolved into just friends. we haven’t had sex in at least 4 years but he’s my boy. oh, when he came to my party, he gave me a ride home and told me he was married.  the wife is from … oh, i forget central Africa somewhere, can’t remember the country… but i was way surprised.  i never even heard this man talk about anyone he CARED about enough to do anything resembling getting married. but whatever. now he’s married. with two little boys. 4 and 2 i think. and he always calls from private numbers and does nothing but complain about his marriage. it is so typical and hilarious.)

and i suppose we’re having lunch. if he calls back. LOL

OOOOHHHHH and the baby father has resurfaced after no contact for a month because i have been “giving his pussy away”. Dude? we haven’t had sex since 2008.

2008.

Is This the Zombie Apocalypse? Nope, Just Season of the "Cuff"

Y'all heard about "cuffing season"? Apparently it's all the rage among the in-the-know Tweeters and the like. It is described as the phenomena that occurs when the weather begins to cool and the people that have been getting their whore on all summer decide that it's time to settle down and get a winter boo-thang...

I dismissed it. I really did. MISTAKE.

In the past 10 days, I have received emails, text messages, naked pics, phone calls and Voxers from no less than 8 men that I haven't heard anything from for anywhere from 6 months to over a year. All on some old "I need to see you" mantra... It is almost like something from one of those Twilight Zone episodes. In my mind I see them crawling out of fresh graves, staggering to my doorstep.

I mean really... What is it about me that says "Hey dude that I had a few conversations/a drink/an interesting online chat with X amount of months ago. Please contact me and attempt to pick up exactly where you left off with zero amount of interest from me."??? It's kinda insane. No. Scratch that. It's totally insane.

Return of the Mack (a mini post)

It's been two full weeks since my blaxploitation/70s nightmare with Usher. There has been no contact save a text message conversation regarding an earring I left there floating in his bed... SMH

Just when I mentioned in passing to a friend that I hadn't heard from him, not 15 minutes after that, he called.

I did not answer.

In the past 12 hours he has called 3 times.

I have NOT answered.

And he's left the most charming messages...

"Hey baby. You ready for Daddy's cum yet?"

"I'm trying to put together a little freak fest tonight. You know I can't do it without my bottom bitch." (yep. verbatim.)

"The party can't start until I hear from my slut mama. Call Daddy."

Oh, Usher...

There are no words.  *wall slide*

A Fling is a Fling is a Fling... Right?

my girlfriend hipped me to an adult dating website known as fling (dot) com about 4 or 5 years ago. i started out creating a profile as a curiosity, uploaded my provocative pics of t&a and almost immediately my inbox was flooded with "prospectives"... yeah, i had to weed thru the sea of weirdos, perverts, losers and infants to get to the decent, normal dudes, but being a veteran of the personals both online and pre-internet, that wasn't so hard.

one of the first messages i received was from "Corey". tall, dark, early 40s, single dad, from Charlotte, worked in the mental health field and a graduate student.

i had only been on the site a few days, with my sassy declarative statements and my catchy, pseudo-slutty screen name when he sent me a message. i responded. we exchanged numbers and a hot and heavy phone courting and correspondence began. we talked about EVERYTHING. sex. kids. school. work. we covered all the bases. i lost my job about 2 weeks after we started talking and as a pick-me-up he offered to make a weekend trip up the road to see me. he picked me up and we headed out to the edge of Maryland to chill at his sister's house (she was out of town). being as though this was a purely therapeutic visit and we had vibed so well via phone, the comfort level was amazing. we grabbed a couple pizzas and some wine and made our way to the spot.

the sex was amazing! coupled with the thunderstorm that popped up on the midst and the lovely Prince Albert piercing that was a most pleasant surprise, i had NO complaints. He even got up the next day and cut my hair for me! (i had been complaining about getting rid of my fro.) he drove me home the following afternoon and we parted ways... though we didn't see each other again, the positive interaction fueled my taste in "Fling flings" and i've been using the site as my dating pool ever since.

not that  there haven't been some flakes...

there was another dude, "Gary"... he was local, 32, 1 kid, just broke up with his baby mama. he was pestering me to let him fix me breakfast, he was working security while in culinary school... it took about 2 weeks but finally I said okay. he seemed harmless, a little stressed, but he was extra cute so...

he picks me up after I take my kids to school. it was overcast and rainy. so we are driving and chit chatting and I notice that we've bypassed the neighborhood he told me he lives in. I'm like I thought we were going to your house. he says "oh nah. my mother is home."

WHAT???

"i thought I told you my mom lives with me? I got the keys to my man's house, imma take you over there."

REALLY DUDE? that's what you wanna tell me? that you can't take me to your house because your mama LIVES WITH YOU?  and imma roll with you to ANOTHER n!&&@$ house? yeah. o...k...

my face belies none of this capitalized conversation I have going on in my head... I simply say oh I can go to my house... he is almost clicking his heels together in anticipation. we pull up and I'm like "aight. I'm out." jumped out, closed the door, went inside, never looked back. he called and texted and messaged me for a month after. I never responded. not even once. crazy fucka!

so my general experiences have been a mix of men I spent more than one occasion with sexual or otherwise. Of the few who became "one-and-dones", the package wasn't as shiny as it seemed...

still I have met a number of good men over the years. accomplished, well-rounded, secure, nice brothers. rare that slim-to-none of them were emotionally available, huh?