Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Hypothetically.

So even if you're feeling comfortably frisky and tipsy on a first date, do NOT under any circumstances, either real or imagined, give your date head in the car afterwards.


Yes, you are both adults, and yes, it might be fun and a little risqué, but from that point on whenever you get in his car he will (more than likely) automatically expect some kind of sexual favor. 

A conditioned response to you sitting your ass in his car. 

Like Pavlov's dog... 




Even if you've just gone to IHOP and had a totally pleasant breakfast, with coffee and conversation, once you return to the car, he might just reach over and try to pull up your skirt. Or attempt to place your own hand on your own crotch and ask you to "massage it." 

He may even try to put your hand on his dick while he's driving. 

And even if you tell him "Look dude, I know I created this shit. Where you see me as the sex in the car chick... But it's uber awkward and not in the least bit sexy." 

At 11:00 in the morning. 

In broad daylight.


He might even say he gets it and asks you to ride with him to the golf pro shop to return a club but somehow then proceeds to drive you to a remote location like a park where he stops the car and attempts to pull you closer. You could possibly resist while explaining to him yet again, why this shit ain't going down. And he could be pretending to hear what you are saying while he deliberately unzips his pants..

Yep. That could happen.

But you know what else might happen?


You could take one look at him and his raging hard on sticking out of his jeans, and burst out laughing until tears are leaking from your eyes. 

Then and only then might he finally get himself together enough to immediately drive you home.

In total silence.

That could happen too.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

And YOU want to ask WHY I'm single?

*sigh* (note the time stamps)

7:32 am
Idiot:  you up?

8:22 am
Me: I am now. 

I:  Lol... I just wanted to know if you were free now

M: Free for what? I'm barely awake.

I: To spend some time cuddling

M: You don't want to "cuddle" Idiot... Just say what you want. It's too fucking early for me to be in "decipher what this means" mode...

I: Lol.. It does start shit.. But i do want to see you.. And fuck yea i miss the other stuff. 

M: the last sentence should have been the first. You funny. "other stuff"

I: You seem frustrated with me.. We good?

M: nope. We ain't good. You resurface a full year after our few times hanging out. You claim you want to see me, I told you I was in a shitty mood but you insisted so I let you come by. You ask me did I want to go for a drive, I said sure. You attempt to molest me while you're driving, then get in YOUR feelings when I don't want to suck your dick in the car... Yet here you are not 2 months later sending messages about "cuddling" and "missing" shit when in reality all you want to do is fuck. I understand that our past interaction might have you believing I would be cool with that, but I'm not. That's not where I am right now. You want to be my friend, that's one thing but I don't need a fuck buddy. AT ALL. So miss me with the fake concern and chitchat. I see you.

I: And I'm cool with that.. But that's how i came off to you.. And that's my fault... I apologize.. That's why i thought you needed a cuddle buddy.. Lol.. I like to see you smile.

(Womp. Womp. I can't even respond... He still comes back with the "cuddle buddy" SMH)

Sunday, April 28, 2013

New Endeavors

I'm on a new warm weather adventure.

Dating.

Yes, dating. No sex with new men. And I'm using a traditional dating site to aid me in my quest as opposed to my usual raunchy "hookup" site.

I've been doing this for about two months now. Nothing earth shattering to report. Yet.